Motivated by... Fear?

Who wants to live in fear?

Certainly not I. What a completely miserable experience.

But don't most of us do things because we are afraid of what happens if we don't do them? Or on the converse side we don't do things because we're afraid of what will happen if we do?

Fear based living.

So many people seem to be afraid to embrace living based on joy, love and happiness.

There are some thing  I do and have done BECAUSE I am afraid to do them.

Getting divorced in particular. This was the scariest thing I ever have done. The what-if from both angles scared me more though. What if I stayed married to a man who didn't love me, but the idea of me? What if I stayed and had a mediocre life, what if nobody ever loves me again and I don't get married and have a family? What if, what if, what if.
Well what if my aunt had balls? She'd be my uncle.

For a while now I have decided when rational and feasible- I want to confront my fears.

Getting the big D was the first fear I faced. I decided that the 'what if' I was in an unhappy marriage for the rest of my life fear was the one I needed to confront. SO I did. And things are all as they should be. I have no doubt that I will be loved again, and eventually one day have a family. But then there is the 'what if' that I occasionally have to tune out. I'm in an amazing place in my life and the fear of change is something that thankfully isn't a concern for me.

Then there are the little fears that I can manage in a much less life altering way. A huge example is my fear of spiders. They freak me out. However my mom would tell me, and this is good advice, the spider is much more afraid of me than I am of it. And it's not the spiders fault I'm afraid of it. SO I don't kill them. I get a cup, and a magazine...and take them outside. What they do then is their business.This helps me be less scared of them as well. So there is still fear, but I face it and accept it as a part of who I am.

Fear is not something that I want to embrace, but use as a motivator to learn, grow, and be less scared. Once you face something head on, and experience it, it's less scary.

Would that make my life fear motivated? Either way, I'm motivated to do things that are scary, but worth it. Be it by taking a life changing risk, or just risking the spider moving and my not knowing where it is in my home.